You: Excuse me, I can’t help but notice that you are unsatisfied with your fruitcake-pattern hoodie. I have to say that I’m surprised but happy for you.
Her: “Ha, hah ha.”
You: “I’ll trade you my Lance Armstrong tire repair kit. Or better yet, I got some Grandma cookies here somewhere.”
Her: “Oh, I had too many of those lately.”
You: “Yeah, I can relate. I like that about you. You and I are the same. Who would have known. So I’m thinking of a New Year’s resolution. What’s yours going to be?”
Her: “To finish law school.”
You: “Oh that’s a good one. I can hire you to sue grandma for the bad cookies. Seriously though, that’s cool. I think I would like being a lawyer. I’d feel kinda powerful. Like yeah, give me a speeding ticket, see what happens.”
Her: “Haha, yeah it is good to know law for practical reasons. For instance, my professor says…”
You: “Hey, I like you. What are you doing after this?”
Her: “I’m meeting a friend for lunch.”
You: “Oh too bad, I thought it might be fun to sit down at the Starbucks over there and chat a bit more for five minutes. I like talking with you.”
Her: “Are you hitting on me?”
You: “Maybe I am and maybe I’m not. It all depends on if you like it or not. And judging by your smile now I would say, yes I AM hitting on you. Sure that’s the ticket.”
Her: “Well, just to warn you I have a black belt in flirting defense. But yeah, let’s sit down for five minutes.”
You: “Excellent. What’s your name by the way?”
Her: “My name is Persimonia”
You: “Nice name. I’m impressed. My name is your name here. In the language of the old country it means, he who drinks hot chocolate through a straw.”
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks Nswolverine8,
I will try to keep it up. You motivate me.
Thanks for the kind words Taras. See you out in LA. Hiyah!
Thanks Tical2000. And yes I think it the trick is to be wooed by her.
Captain K-Dog -
First, don’t think of yourself as a hobo. Second, keep your responses both genuine and proportional. Think of your scenario this way:
A woman is being approached by a bunch of men who stare at her chest and act cowed. Then you come along, you’re well dressed, smiling pleasantly, you look her in the eyes unafraid but relaxed, and say interesting things.
You make her smile.
She rewards you with her first non-automatic response of the night – a tiny confession about eating too many Christmas cookies. It’s hardly life changing intimacy, but it’s genuine, and for a woman to confess to overeating to a man she just met is not without weight.
You reward her genuineness with an appropriate amount of interest. A laugh, a statement of camaraderie.
Lather, rinse, repeat. As she opens up more, you escalate appropriately. You overate over the holidays? Me too, let’s talk for 30 seconds about it. You’re studying law? That’s cool, want to talk for 5 minutes about it, over coffee? You love John Ford westerns? I bet you’d look hot in a pair of cowboy boots – do you want to go downtown, maybe see what’s playing at the Artsy movie theatre? I had a great time, but I’ve got to get up for work tomorrow – want to come in real quick and meet my cat?
At any rate, this is the process as I practice it, out of Juggler’s book.
Thanks for another great post Wayne. Your conversational and flirting style has seriously been a huge eye-opener for me in terms of my communication with women. Thanks again
“The trick always seems to have the girl already be more charming than you are, and permit yourself to be wooed.” – is this the case Juggler?
Girls have said I’m really charming, but I never understood why until now….I suppose giving someone a sincere compliment is the basis of charm. Not taking things so seriously is definitely another thing I notice in Wayne’s dialog. Especially when getting shit tested – he’s doesn’t take her shit test seriously, but he answers honestly. And finally, he makes sure the conversation never gets dull with work/school dumb stuff.
Juggler I’ve always been one of your greatest fans…your style is very classy. I like that because it goes along with the way I want to see myself. I suppose we are similar people.. If only I could get your phone coaching for free!
Hey Wayne!
My impression is that when you tell the woman, “I like that about you,” and “You and I are the same,” you’re on dangerous ground. I’d think the way you say it is everything. If you’re talking to a woman who looks like a model, and is wearing a blouse revealing an ample cleavage, what will she think when you tell her that you like her because of her affection for cookies?
If a panhandler told me he liked me because I ate too many Christmas cookies, and then said, “You and I are the same,” I might reply, “Hey, I’m sorry man, but I don’t have any change on me right now.”
I’d think the only way to make it work would be to say it in a very offhand way, and/or to talk past it, rather like an SOI. You’d have to say it in a way that says, “I like you, but not *that* much, and I’m not interested in your reaction to my liking you.”
Is my thinking on this close to the mark?
You write beautifully. Keep up the good work!
hell wayne, dont worry bout the opener. just CLOSE! you can open later. =)
This is what I love and hate about Wayne’s ebook. I’m always as charmed as the girls by the example dialog, but there are instincts operating that I’m not sure I’ve internalized. The trick always seems to have the girl already be more charming than you are, and permit yourself to be wooed. I haven’t yet mastered drawing those qualities out of her, though.
Great blog Wayne! Makes me wish someone had given me a Lance Armstrong tire repair kit so I could go return it.
I discovered the secret of Juggler Method: it’s in English! In Dutch this whole dialogue would only sound half as catchy, so that’s why Belgian people never get laid
From now on i’m going to pretend to be a tourist in my own town, that should do the trick.
P.S. As always great article Wayne, keep ‘em coming! Oh, and do a Dutch one next time, it’s easy, just put a hot potato in your mouth and yodel
Thanks for the props Crescendo. I think you tell her you like her as soon as you can make it believable.
I wrote the dialogue to mean I was ‘paraphasing’ her dialogue and didn’t not intend to indicate that you would cut her off. I guess I need to make that more clear next time. All the best.
I like this witty conversation. I find it interesting that you interrupted when she was talking about boring professor “stuff” to tell her that you like her. It’s also inspiring that you did this so early on in the conversation with minimal justification. This makes me wonder how soon a guy can tell a woman that he likes her.
Thanks for that Contrived. I’m a big fan of all that is short so love your comment. Not sure what it means but hey life is all about guessing.
c’mon now.
Sorry about that Anthony. I have now added the author, who is by chance myself.
Thanks for catching that. -Wayne
who wrote this?