Make Personal Conversation – the Coffee Cup Metaphor

by Wayne Elise on January 20, 2012


It’s always easier to make topic driven-conversation. At least at first.

“Mexico city is cheap this time of year, don’t you think?”

“Oh yes. It’s cheap but yet the service is good there.”

“Yeah. It rocks there.”

“Um, yeah.”

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Find out the relationship situation or die

by Wayne Elise on January 17, 2012

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In my opinion Dan is a wonderful instructor for Charisma Arts. Check out the messages his clients sent me after last weekend’s Charm School Bootcamp in New York City.

But it hasn’t always been a smooth path for Dan. Here’s a story about what happened a few years ago when Dan and I were out together and encountered trouble. I hope you enjoy it.

A girl smiled at Dan. Let’s call her Belle.

Dan walked over. “What’s a girl like you doing sitting on a stool in a place like this?”

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From Small Talk to Big Talk

December 19, 2011
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During the season between Thanksgiving and Christmas I find myself spending most of my social time at holiday gatherings. These include office parties, networking functions as well as themed social events. What I like about this time of year and the holidays is that there is always something natural to talk about. Wayne recently stressed the importance of talking about things your conversational partner can relate to in his article about The Secret To Hooking People Into Your Conversations. At Charisma Arts we also stress taking conversations off the beaten path beyond the reams of small talk in order to access intimacy, creativity and genuineness in our interactions.

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The Cheesecake Test

December 10, 2011
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For those of you scoring at home, The Cheesecake Test may, for you, supersede the old Charisma Arts Vacuum Theory.

The challenge for us in conversation with a stranger we want to connect with is one of getting the other person involved and invested in the conversation with us. However, this doesn’t happen when the other person feels forced to interact with us.

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Handling Confrontation Part 1 – Conditional Yes

December 9, 2011
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The following is part 1 in a series about ways to handle confrontation that I hope to add to from time to time.

A client asked me the other day about a situation he found himself in. He went out on a date with a girl. They shared a couple beers. Things seemed to be going well but then when the bill arrived they got into a discussion about who would pay for the drinks.

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Why you should tell her you find her hot

December 6, 2011
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Dealing with hot women is like talking to a celebrity. You know they’re famous. They know that you know they’re famous. To pretend you don’t know who they are is just going to make you act silly. Best way to interact with a celebrity is to admit they’re a celebrity, introduce yourself and move on to other topics of conversation.

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How To Get Someone to Like You

December 4, 2011
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I thought this was going to be one of the shortest articles I’ve written. How do you get people to like you? The answer is: People like you for liking them. SIMPLE. End of article.

But then again, anything that simple has got to have some complex ideas holding it up.

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16 Essential Skills for the Charisma Artist

December 1, 2011
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1. You make more statements than ask questions. You don’t push conversation through questions. You understand the importance of being continually additive to the conversation.

2. Ego traps got nothing on you. You know how to resist and overcome the typical ego-trap questions such as when someone asks you, “What do you do for a living.” after a minute of conversation.

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Banter 101

November 24, 2011
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Cutting out the silly stuff such as weirdo cold-approaching and question trains allows you to bring the good stuff such as complimenting, disqualifying, building relationships and creating relaxed and sexy interactions.

Here’s a recent interaction of mine. Perhaps you can spot the conversational techniques we teach here at Charisma Arts. Enjoy!

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Why you should be easy – like the Apple Store

November 17, 2011
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Once upon a time, I walked into the Apple Store to buy a pair of noise-canceling headphones, which I admit, look dorky, but I thought they might help me sleep on airplanes. I spotted the headphones on the shelf, just where I expected them to be. I picked up the box and looked at the price. My eyes watered and I felt woozy. Gripping the shelf for support, I thought, ‘Wow, the Apple Store is expensive. I bet I can buy these cheaper somewhere else.’

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