My questions to you is, what could I have said to the girl in the following cases so she finds me genuinely interested in what she does but finish my statement in a humorous way so the interaction does flow to a boring “job interview” mode.

Ex.
Her: I am a nurse/ account/ air port security/ physical therapist/ lawyer/psychology major

I am attending the Jan 14-15 bootcamp in NY and I’m very excited!!!

Thanks,

CHARITH

So, I was out shopping for a Christmas gift for my sister. I went into a home decor store known as kirklands which has a lot of the mushy wall stuff my sister enjoys and old school paintings and what not. I found two seperate gift ideas for my sister. 1. Leopard Print Bath Robe 2. 2 Wall “word” (faith, love) and stackable coffee mugs on stainless steel rack.

Being unable to decide between the two I turn around to look for an associate for an opion when I see a 2set right around my age (18) wondering the store. At first I was fairly surprised to see anyone under the age of like 25 in there. Then I remember where *I* was. haha… So, I figured, “what the hell”.

I walked directly up to the girl and opened with this.

Me – Excuse me miss, I’m in a bit of a dilemma and need a female opinion.

Her- Yeah, sure.

Me – Ok, so…(i explained my situation like i did to you with a nice smile on my face and a charming look in my eye…keep in mind I had just got off work so I was dressed for success and looking even better than normal…which I ams ure helped)
…. So, if you were a 23yo female with tattoos, platinum blonder hair with red and blue tips on the side, living in your own apartment, like crazy clothes and love coffee which gift would you rather have?

Her – Well, does he already have a bath robe, does she actually make her own coffee or just drink it? would the stuff match her apartment?

Me – Yeah, but I don’t think she really uses it. She makes her own coffee yes and yes the coffee mugs and the words match her apartment.

Her- Then I would go with the mugs and words. It’s more of a brotherly gift.

Me- Ok. I’m going to take your advice. But what happens if she doesn’t like. (Said this with a wink)

Her- (laughs)Well, then I don’t know. I guess she just won’t like it.

Me- I’ll make sure to tell her it’s your fault.
(This is where I screwed up and instead of taking it even farther personal and then on to sexual level I just ended it. I think I got kind of nervous…which shouldn’t of happened because I had got past that in the first place)

Her- (Laughs) Ok! do that it will be pretty funny!
(This wasn’t a closing statement so I knew she was willing to keep talking and her friend was on the other side of the store so no problem)

Me- Ok well thanks. I’m going to take your advice and hope it works out for me.

I went on to pay. She continued to linger right around my area even when I heard her friend ask if she was ready to go. I knew I should of went and talked to her again but I didn’t and then by the time i was done she had left….

Where could I have stepped it up or done better?

Thanks and sorry for being long winded,

Jared K.

When a girl tells about a trip she took, say, to Scotland… “I went there with a friend and we loved it. I’m going back in the summer!”

Whether or not I have also been to the same country (in this case, I have been to the same place) what is the best way to vibe, or transition and lead the conversation into deeper rapport?

I don’t necessarily want to just agree with her, “Ahh, I went there too! I loved the blood pudding!”

Do I say something teasingly like, “Oh God, I have to go with you to be your tour guide, so I can show you such and such….” and create a future projection?

How do you escalate the conversation when you’re talking about travel adventures? What kind of shared travel emotions do you shoot for that trigger the best sparks?

Thanks Wayne!! I think I love you.
Will

This interaction happened last night, as I was winging my buddy. I spoke to an Asian girl, but even though she was open to conversation, I don’t think I steered the conversation correctly. It felt uncomfortable and not fun, and I don’t know why, so I’d like you to read it and tell me your comments. For one, thing, I now my vibe was off, I wasn’t smiling much, nor very relaxed.

Here are the different bits I remember:

Her: So where are you from, Pete?
Pete: Take a guess.
Her: Italy.
Pete: No.
Her: Mexico.
Pete: Actually, Colombia.
Her: Ohhh, mucho gusto. (nice to meet you)
Pete: You know, I love Colombia. In my neighbourhood, people didn’t lock their doors, and all Colombian people care about is dancing and having fun.
Her: But it’s dangerous, and then there are also drugs.
Pete: Oh my god, lovely stereotype. (and I turned my back to her for a second)
———
Pete: You look like you studied psychology.
Her: Yes, I majored in psychology, but now I’m in business school.
Pete: I’m fascinated by psychology.
Her: Well, a lot of it is bullshit.
(Then we talked about our different perspectives of psychology- boring)
———
———–
Pete: So what are your passions?
Her: Travelling.
Pete: Interesting, there is a question I love asking anyone I meet: What’s the most amazing place you’re ever been to?
Her: Depends. If we’re talking about nature and beautiful sights, Galápagos Island, if it’s about a laidback culture, Spain.
Pete: I like cities, but I’m more amazed by the beauty of nature. I once hiked to a natural reserve back home in Colombia, a lake surrounded by and untouched forrest… It’s one of the coolest feeling I’ve had, it was silent and calm.
(the thread died here)
———-
Pete: I like the feeling of peacefulness I get when I meditate, I’m sure you have an activity that absorbs you and makes you forget about everything else?
Her: T.V.
Pete: Really, I don’t love T.V. that much… what’s your favorite show?
Her: Gossip Girl
Pete: You’re fucking with me.
Her: Noooo, I love it.

After this, I turned to her friend and asked how she could hang out with a girl like that. She burst laughing, and admitted that she also had some things that were embarrasing. I loved this thing, so I told her I secretly dance to ——- with my niece, and she said she loved me for that, and confessed about her secret dances too, and how she loved the show “The Bachelor”. We laughed and after 3 minutes were hugging and laughing. The connection was amazing, way different than the one with her friend.

So I’m sort of baffled about the first interaction, because it felt uncommonly tense and boring. I’m curious about what happened, it’s the first time I get have to stand such an uncomfortable conversation. Please feel free to critique as much as you like, I really want to improve my conversational skills, and I’d appreciate your sharing your knowledge.

I know you’re busy, man, sorry for the long e-mail. Please reply at your convenience.

Thanks for your helping us improve our lives.

Pete G.

- Hi.

- I thought I’d come over and say hi. I’m Grasshopper.

- I’m Meredith.

- Nice to meet you, Meredith! So how’s your evening going so far?

- Good, you?

- It’s OK. I’ve been hanging out with my freind Roger and it’s actually been kind of dead the places we’ve gone. I’ve never seen the city so quiet. I guess everyone’s away for the holidays.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- I feel kind of bummed seeing the city so quiet, it seems kind of sad.

- But that’s just the way the holidays are.

- True. So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?

- Going to a friend’s place. You?

- Going to a friend’s place too. I was going to go home, but I forgot that my family decided to celebrate Thanksgiving a week early, so I actually missed it.

- Oh, that’s sad.

- It is sad! I’m bummed. There’s an uncle I really like and I was looking forward to seeing him. But it’s OK, I think I’m going to see him over Christmas.

- Oh, that’s nice.

- Yeah.

- Well, have a happy Thanksgiving! (At this point is was obvious she was hinting for me to leave.)

- Oh! Yeah. OK. Yeah, you too. Happy Thanksgiving. It was nice meeting you.

- You too.

Ive been working on email game in the forums with Wandering Sumo and was hoping that you could comment!

In short, Im a student and shes a student, Ive SOIed before and exams and the holidays are coming up so I thought it best to stay in touch with this girl through email. I was thinking of sending her an email after about a week from my last interaction with her as follows:

“”"”"
hey X! I wanted to see how you are doing since I havent spoken with you substantially in a while. Ive really enjoyed talking with you and ideally Id like to sit down with you sometime and have a nice face to face but I know how finals go. Its that lovely time of year again!

Anyways, how was studying and do you feel prepared? Are you still on that strange sleep schedule? Do you need to take sleeping pills? haha!

I finally got a table in my apartment to study on so Ive been pretty excited to crack open my books. Its funny because Ive never done work in my place all year and never really had a table to put books on to study from. I suppose that desperate times call for desperate measures!

Anyways, I hope things are well! ttyl..

-Dare2
“”"”

I was hoping that you could give me your comments on the 1 week timing and the email itself. Also, I’d be very grateful if you could work with me on wording.

Thanks!
Dare2

During the day it is smart to show interest sooner rather than later. There should be a personal escalation and then get logistics and then instant date or SOI depending on the situation. You are still hitting the steps, speaking in ‘I’ statements and making your questions more open-ended. But day game has to be progressed fast. People just will not hang out in a super market and have a conversation for very long. Come out and meet me sometime and I will show you in person what I am talking about. It is a difficult thing to describe in text.