Mad, bad and dangerous to know. That’s what they said about Byron the poet. He was a hell-raiser who seduced innocent, young women, made enemies, fought duels, slept with his cousin – that sort of thing.

I think we need more of that type of behavior around here. An informal poll of women I know reveals a taste for men who are mad, bad and dangerous to know.

“They’re sexy,” says Kelly.

“I like a man who lives by his own rules,” says Kim.

“I think it’s hot when a man wears eyeliner,” says Shannon, ” Is that what you’re talking about?” Sometimes it is, Shannon, sometimes it is.

My friend Mike personifies the modern Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know Man. (not to be confused with our instructor Mike who works at Charisma Arts, and who’s also pretty MBD)

Mike is someone I got to know because one day we realized we rode the same model Vespa – instant connection.

Let’s take a look at his qualities.

MAD: Sometimes Mike trims his hair baby-short and wears a dog collar. This makes him look scary. He and his girlfriend are taking part in a clinical trial in which they don’t brush their teeth for three weeks. Today he quietly handed me a note that said he was not speaking today – for fun. That’s just the sort of antisocial behavior that gives him the reputation of being mad. Completely mad. And mad can be sexy.

BAD: Mike breaks rules. His girlfriend is 26 years younger. He attached the license plate to his Vespa with velcro to avoid parking tickets. He doesn’t mind telling someone to f*ck off. He once had sex with a girl on her boss’s desk, who was a raging feminist, just for the irony of the act.

DANGEROUS TO KNOW: Mike likes adventure and might just drag your ass into one. Goth night at the nightclub? We’re going. Talking to the intimidating hot girl? No worries. Comfort zone? Let’s bust it. When you least expect it, Mike swears to emphasize his point. He likes pushing your buttons. He has the aura that he might just do something you don’t expect at any moment.

Mike’s also unafraid to tell you what he thinks. He lives by the motto: Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind. It’s exhilarating having a friend who doesn’t play life safe.

The flip side of being Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know is that Mike is a great friend. He introduced me to a hot, model friend of his (and I teach how to get girls). Most guys would have hit on her themselves. But not Mike. There’s always more where she came from for him. He lives a life of abundance. People are drawn to his strength instinctively. They know that only the strong can be generous. He is the opposite of most people who are sniveling bags of selfishness. Mike can be KIND because he is so MAD, BAD and DANGEROUS TO KNOW. And that my friends is… SEXY.

If you want to learn how to be more Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know, take one of my events or sign up for phone coaching with me.

All the best,
Wayne

Okay, let’s get down and dirty. Or up and nasty, depending on your point of view. I want to talk about nose hairs. Once upon a time I paid no attention to nose hairs. I was young and blissfully unaware. Other than the occasional stuffed-up variety of nose, I mostly ignored my appendage, counting on it to just go wherever I did and do it’s thing without any advice from me.

But something unexpected happened on the way to middle age. Hairs began sprouting out of places I’d never expected. One night, after being rejected from my attempted make out with a friend, of a friend, of a friend, I took a look in the mirror and talked to myself, “That girl liked me. At least from afar. But when we got close, SHAZAM, nothing. What happened?”

I breathed on the mirror. Hard to tell, but my breath seemed okay. I looked for other clues. True, I was pastey white. And I needed a shave. And I was a DUDE. How could any girl want to make out with a dude anyway? Yuck.

Okay, I was getting off track. I moved closer, and that’s when I spotted them, peeking out like paintbrush bristles. Their roots buried up somewhere deep. Nose hairs! And, oh my sweet Buddha, some were snow white. Made me think of my father who has never trimmed his nose hairs, ever. They just grow down and merge with the hairs of his mustache. Neat, huh?

But in other news, nose hairs DO NOT turn women on. Grooming is IN. Men are shaving their chests for Pete’s sake. A girl I know claims to only date men who shave their arm pits. The world has turned. Lumberjacks and burly men no longer run things. It’s the hipsters and the Robert Pattersons who are considered hot.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a client show up for training with us who has under-groomed in the nasal region. This necessitates a tough conversation. I have, a few times, on the spot, marched a guy down to the pharmacy to buy a trimming instrument of desperate, nose-hair destruction. If we don’t take care of the grooming essentials we may as well not be in the game. What game? The game of love, sex, life. Don’t leave the house with visible nose hairs. It’ll distract people at your work, walking down the street, babies will cry and wolves will howl. Your chance of getting ‘lucky’ is reduced by 82.5%.

Okay, now that I’ve made you suitably paranoid about the topic, let’s move on to talk about how to take care of those prickly rascals.

My first attempt to get rid of my nose hairs was to pick up a pair of tweezers and yank the suckers. But pulling a nose hair, root and all, will make your eyes water, create an unfulfillable urge to sneeze and want to rub your nose along the floor like a puppy. I’ve got the rug burns to prove it. Not cool.

I tried battery-powered nose hair trimmers but they suck. Because of their design they can’t get in there close to the skin at the center flesh of the nose. Guys who claim to use them, always have visible ‘hairage’ if you look closely enough. And girls do, if they’re up in your grill, about to make out.

I’ve always said, if you want a job done right, you gotta get in there and swipe at it yourself with a sharp instrument. I recommend using cuticle scissors (see above pic). These are designed to trim toenails but they do an excellent job of trimming nose hairs too. The blades are curved and wicked sharp. That curve will help you get in there close to the skin without poking yourself. Buy the most expensive pair you can find. There’s nothing as frustrating as isolating a stubborn nose hair only to botch the job with dull blades.

Technique: In each nostril there are two regions that must be attended to. Hairs grow from the middle, nostril-separating flesh and another variety grows from somewhere up in the no-mans land of deep in the nose.

Step #1 Find a mirror with light that you can shine in your face. You will need light from slightly below nose level. You may have to bring a desk lamp into the bathroom with you. Or buy one of those lighted, magnifying mirrors they sell to old ladies to help put on makeup.

#2 Push the tip of your nose sideways and slightly up, exposing the middle flesh on one side of your nose. Use the scissors to cut the hairs growing out of this region as close as possible to the skin. It will be apparent which way to turn the curve of the scissors once you get in there.

BE CAREFUL! As I mentioned before, cuticle scissors are sharp. The blood vessels in your nose are close to the surface. One inattentive slice and you will bleed, and bleed, and bleed. If you get in a fist-fight you can be proud of a bloody nose, but you will feel stupid telling an emergency nurse you cut your nose with cuticle scissors.

#3 Repeat the last procedure in the other direction.

#4 Now use a thumb to pull a nostril up and outwards, like extremely flairing it. This will expose hairs that grow down from above. Trim these. You won’t be able to get near the roots of these suckers because they grow from deep inside, so just trim them up as close as you can. Once you release your nostril to normal position you’ll get a couple weeks of growth before they start to poke down visibly again.

#5 Repeat on the other nostril.

Tip: Only go after the visible hairs. You need some nose hair to filter out dust and debris from getting sucked into your lungs.

Congratulations. Now that you’ve mastered your nose hairs you are now sexier and happier. I know that I am.

Until next time,
All the best,
Your friend and guide to being a sexier DUDE,
Wayne Elise

Yesterday during my run I ran though the cemetery. I love cemeteries. Looking at the headstones, reading the names and dates. My favorite headstones are the ones with two names chiseled on them, a husband and wife. He’s dead but she’s still living. Her date of birth is the only date under her name. Sometimes she’s outlived him by twenty or thirty years already. Kinda sad, but kinda beautiful too.

You’re probably wondering what all this has to do with meeting women. Well, it has a lot to do with meeting women, or men or whomever you want to meet.

Let’s face it, internet-dating is competitive, and full of unattractive and sketchy people. You could meet someone at work, but unless you tend bar, that number is limited. To meet someone, I recommend just walking up and speaking to attractive strangers. And that, my friends, takes guts. The guts to face possible rejection and humiliating experiences.

And that is where the dead come in. The dead have one single message for you. I hear them say it to me every time I run through a cemetery. They whisper, “See you soon.”

The dead know that you and I will one day be history. Our time is limited. The stasis of our life is illusionary. You must take advantage of your opportunities while they exist. You have an opportunity now. Too many people spend their lives wishing to find someone amazing or wondering when they will become an outgoing person who has ‘opportunities’.

Maybe they’re waiting for the perfect moment to approach that hottie at the coffee shop. Well, cemeteries are full of people who waited their entire lives for ‘that moment’. Most people never go for what they want. I walk thought the sea of headstones. Here’s a guy, Jacob Ralston 1889 -1929. I wonder what his life was like. Did he love? Did he yearn for more? Or did he spend his life in quiet desperation? We were the same age. Except I’m still alive and he’s gone to dust. What will I do with my life? Will I take on challenges? Will I risk rejection for a chance to win the prize? Will I push myself to meet the people I find attractive? Or will I sit back, wait and one day pass from this world with regret? For that matter, what will you do?

I’m certain if the dead could vote they would tell us to go for it. We all end up dust anyway. I love the dead. They inspire. They lead. They remind me to live every day to the best of my ability. Because one day I will join their ranks in eternal sleep.

People must think I’m strange when they spot the smile on my face as I run out from between the gates of cemeteries.

And now the advert: One of the great ways to follow the lesson of the dead and take action in your life is to sign up for one of our events such as my Conversation Camp or a bootcamp with one of our instructors.

All the best, Wayne Elise

I’ve been working on simple ways to meet people. Here’s
one way that I’ve been practiced with success.

But first things first. This will not work if you are not fun and relaxed in your interactions with strangers.
So be cool. If you don’t know how to be cool then sign up for my Conversation Camp. There’s no shame if you need to learn to be better in conversation. Most people try to be the dictator of the conversation. They’re so worried about getting something out of her they squeeze to tightly. This is like trying to squeeze sand in your fist. It just pours out.

Make sure you talk to the staff there at Starbucks. Make them like you. Tell them that you want to have their job and it must be fun to talk to so many people. Make them feel good. This alone can help you meet an attractive person. If they like you a lot you can ask them to drop a chocolate off at someone’s table with your
compliments. Then wave and mosey over and tell her you thought she could use a pick me up. I mean
chocolate is the sexiest food so this is already in a good spot.

Another way to meet girls there at the coffee shop is to sit at a table within conversational distance to those cute, bookworms. Say, “Excuse me, do you know what time this Starbucks closes?”

As she fumbles around for the answer. Squint a bit at her and interrupt her and say, “You have the most intelligent looking eyes,” or “You, uh, are very attractive,” or “You have a sexy voice.”

Say this as if you have just discovered it. Believe it, over-act it. She must see that she has effected you.

She will blush and say thanks. Just keep going. Don’t make it a big thing. There is much power in showing your attraction but not getting hung up on it. Ask her name and tell her about the story you’re writing. Tell her you find the two of them interesting and would love to hear their stories. BE COOL. Talk to both girls if there are two. Don’t ask too many questions. Be funny. Be charming.

After a few minutes say, “I should let you get back to your work. It was nice meeting you. I don’t know your situation but would love to see you again.”

If she likes you she should share some contact details.

Hello from Barcelona. When traveling abroad I often have limited time. I’m always running to catch a train or a flight, or working with clients, or practicing my art. I tend to fire off quick thoughts in my journal. I would like to share a few with you.

* Since you learn things about people when you make statements you should watch their expressions closely. Are they into what you are saying or drawing away from you? These things let us know where the other person is at. We can learn how they feel and where their heart is at.

* Conversation is an art. It is creation. As such you must learn to speak creatively. Find the typical path and avoid it. Tape off that sucker with caution tape. I want you to have conversation that no two people on this Earth could be having at this moment (cred. Johnny). There are many people who may do similar things to you. At this moment people are working and driving and loving. But what makes you special is your unique take and expression. You must let that out. It is your music. Do that well and you will capture the imagination of those you meet.

* I have seduced women. I have been lucky that way. But everyone of these women I have fallen a little bit in love with before I was able to seduce them. I believe to create friends and lovers you must fall in love with each one a little bit. That is both the beauty and pain of my life and the art that I’m teaching you. To be loved you must love. Open your heart and say to yourself, “What is special about this person?” Trust and you will be trusted.

* Often we are looking for surety. But life is not supposed to be like that. You are built to discover and appreciate the unexpected.

* Often we are trying to make things happen. But somethings we must not try to control. They must come to us. Like a competent basketball player. We cannot chase the ball around the court but instead must have the confidence that our teammates will pass it to us and that they will screen and otherwise help us reach our mutual goal. The people we wish to seduce don’t want to be passive objects that we ‘do something to’ but rather active participants. We must let them express themselves freely and we must tell them the path to our heart.

If you like these little thoughts you may also want to follow my life on Twitter: http://twitter.com/Wayne_Elise

All the best, Wayne

It is my presumption that people who use Macs as opposed to PCs are more interesting. I’m biased for sure, but when I see a girl with a sexy PowerBook on her lap I know she’s my type of woman. So in this scenario I’m presuming you feel the same way. Pay attention to her nonverbal feedback during your statements which can make you pursue the topic further or go in a different direction.

There she is. Red hair and running shoes. She is sitting at the coffee shop behind a 17 inch aluminum Apple piece of modern art. She taps at the keys with two fingers, periodically wrinkling her forehead and frowning.

You walk past her but stop at the last instant.

You: “Hey nice computer. I couldn’t help noticing that you have a Mac. I’m curious what you think.”

Her: “Oh, I like it. Much better than my old computer.”

You: “Yeah, no kidding. Mac’s rule. They just work. No fuss, no muss. I have to confess though, and I don’t know if you feel this way, but I feel a little superior to all those people with other types of computers. Like that guy over there. Poor guy has some sort of Dell.”

Her: “Ha ha, yeah I kind of feel that way.”

You: “Good I like that about you. Well, I should let you get back to your work. I imagine that it’s pretty important and all…”

She shakes her head. Her: “It’s okay, I’m not really being that productive.”

You: “Well, in that case, I might as well complete the distraction. So what’re you working on, if I may be so nosey as to ask?”

Her: “Oh, I have this report for work. It’s about inventory control and what we should do to make it better.”

You: “Fascinating.”

Her: “Really?”

You: “No, not really. Okay, maybe. Depends on what the inventory is I suppose. If its lollipops it could be interesting. How many ten year olds does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop? Okay, I see I’ve lost you there. Let’s just move on. So what are you inventory controlling?”

Her: “We sell fabric. I’ve got lots of fabric. Different colors and patterns. We have to keep track of all that and right now we do that with tags and sometimes they fall off.”

You: “I see. So I’m guessing you went to art school and you have a design background.”

She nods.

You: (continuing) “I like that. I have often been told I was artistic. Oh no wait, they said I was autistic. My bad.”

She laughs.

You: “I like your laugh. What’s your name?”

Her: “Sharon, but my friends call me T-bone.”

You: “Nice to meet you Sharon. I like the nickname. I need a nickname. You’re T-bone. I’ll be big bone.”

She gives a funny look.

You: “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that. But yeah, I do have a bone for Mac girls.”

Her: “Ha, so what are you doing tonight?”

You: “That my new-found, sexy-friend, T-bone incorporated, is a good question. I’m going to sit down next to you before I answer that, if that is quite all right with you.”

Her: “Sure.”

You: “So, I’m contemplating my place in the universe.”

Her: “That’s a big question.”

You: “You sound as if you have given it some thought yourself.”

Her: “I have. I think that a person can never truly know because only a god could contemplate the whole of the universe. We as people with small brains can never figure it all out. So I have stopped trying to figure it out and just try to feel my way.”

You: “I like that. Makes sense on a lot of levels. I don’t know what your relationship situation is but I’d like to get your number and have sushi with you tomorrow….”

She smiles.

You: (emboldened) “I know how to pour some mean saki. You see it’s all in the wrist. You can’t pour your own. That’s bad luck.”

Her: “You know, let’s do that. I think it would be fun.”

You: “I think so but if not then you can tell your friends I was a toothless loser who sucked his miso soup through his nose. Okay, if I can see your cell phone I’ll just input my number under my new nickname, Big Bone.”

If you have trouble rolling conversation like this consider coming to one of my Conversation Camps. I teach the techniques to build light, fun conversation that also moves the interaction along in positive directions.

Until next time, keep the faith all you CA social Kung Fu men of glory.

You: Excuse me, I can’t help but notice that you are unsatisfied with your fruitcake-pattern hoodie. I have to say that I’m surprised but happy for you.

Her: “Ha, hah ha.”

You: “I’ll trade you my Lance Armstrong tire repair kit. Or better yet, I got some Grandma cookies here somewhere.”

Her: “Oh, I had too many of those lately.”

You: “Yeah, I can relate. I like that about you. You and I are the same. Who would have known. So I’m thinking of a New Year’s resolution. What’s yours going to be?”

Her: “To finish law school.”

You: “Oh that’s a good one. I can hire you to sue grandma for the bad cookies. Seriously though, that’s cool. I think I would like being a lawyer. I’d feel kinda powerful. Like yeah, give me a speeding ticket, see what happens.”

Her: “Haha, yeah it is good to know law for practical reasons. For instance, my professor says…”

You: “Hey, I like you. What are you doing after this?”

Her: “I’m meeting a friend for lunch.”

You: “Oh too bad, I thought it might be fun to sit down at the Starbucks over there and chat a bit more for five minutes. I like talking with you.”

Her: “Are you hitting on me?”

You: “Maybe I am and maybe I’m not. It all depends on if you like it or not. And judging by your smile now I would say, yes I AM hitting on you. Sure that’s the ticket.”

Her: “Well, just to warn you I have a black belt in flirting defense. But yeah, let’s sit down for five minutes.”

You: “Excellent. What’s your name by the way?”

Her: “My name is Persimonia”

You: “Nice name. I’m impressed. My name is your name here. In the language of the old country it means, he who drinks hot chocolate through a straw.”

'You girls are crazy!'

For a limited time. I want to help direct you. Swallow your ego and write about your mistakes. What happened on your meets/dates/interactions with the opposite sex that went wrong. Post it in the comments section below and I will give you some ‘Wayne’ ideas to try next time.  Let the fun begin.

Have you ever done a trust fall? That is where you cross your arms in front of your chest, straighten you legs and then tip yourself backwards with someone behind you that will be willing and able to catch your fall. In order for you to do this you have to be willing to trust your partner. If they don’t make the catch you could break your back or bust your head open and forget who you are, Charlie. There’s a scene in my favorite movie of all time, Mean Girls, where the characters utilize a trust fall. It’s dorky I know but so I am sometimes, ha.

When picking up women, your partner in the trust fall is the woman you are talking with. You must trust her. That is an order from me, Captain Wayne to you, Sergeant Reader-of-this-article. Women can sense when you don’t trust them. They understand that a man who doesn’t trust is a wannabe dictator. And as with most dictators he’s no fun to be around.

If any of these are you then give me a call and we will talk about setting you on the right path.

* Not adding pauses into your speech.
* Stacking routines.
* Being overly positive. Afraid of negativity.
* Not talking in a personal manner.
* Talking too fast.
* Relying on witty content.
* Forcing numbers.
* Asking close-ended or god-forbid, leading questions.
* Looking for signs that she likes you. IOI-trash
* Other stupid stuff.

These all add up to not getting laid. Wake up and smell the coffee. They are a symptom of YOU not trusting HER. Guys who get laid at pick up (all 50 of them) believe they are secure enough to let women react to them any way they want. They make room for it. Why? Because they trust her to like them. They’re not dictators, they’re libertarians. They understand that for a woman to value you she must invest in the relationship. Yeah, sometimes she will be mean, sometimes she will be brash, sometimes she will say stupid things or pull your ear hairs out. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to bonk you in the Holiday Inn hot tub.

Ultimately, trusting women means trusting yourself. People are just a mirror for you to bounce yourself off of, you know? You have to trust that you are an interesting, fascinating read. Slow down, learn to better articulate your personality, ask a few open ended questions and have faith that you are being cool despite any concrete evidence.

Does that make sense? If not, its my fault. I’m running around the world blabbering on about using the ‘I’ perspective but I don’t know if I’ve ever really explained what that means. My bad. What the “I’ perspective means is you making a pact to trust yourself to be interesting enough. The rest is just techniques to articulate yourself better and allow her to do the same, oh and escalation theory, gotta have that. Well, I guess I have some more writing to do. See you next time – Wayne Elise

I have met many men over the last few years who all felt the same way.  They found themselves sitting next to a cute girl they wanted to impress but just didn’t know how to say something interesting. They didn’t know how to create conversational flow or get off of dead end topics like the weather or Obama’s mole. Everyone’s been there. I’ve been there. We often can’t leverage our conversational best when we’re under pressure.

But there’s a solution. Take my Conversation Camp. The links are on the right of this page. I spend a whole weekend teaching you in a small group of others my conversation techniques which will teach you how to create a flow of interesting conversation, handle difficult questions, increase your presence and leverage a sense of humor. Hopefully talk with you soon.