Comments on: Listening http://charismaarts.com/listening Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:23:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Proper F'd http://charismaarts.com/listening#comment-19887 Proper F'd Sun, 14 Aug 2011 04:57:44 +0000 http://www.charismaarts.com/?p=543#comment-19887 This is still one of the best articles about how to properly listen. This is still one of the best articles about how to properly listen.

]]> By: Proper F'd http://charismaarts.com/listening#comment-514 Proper F'd Wed, 13 Jan 2010 09:15:44 +0000 http://www.charismaarts.com/?p=543#comment-514 I was being honest and sincere when I said this post blew my mind, you must've been under the assumption that I wasn't. My apologies for the misunderstanding and thank you for your time. I was being honest and sincere when I said this post blew my mind, you must’ve been under the assumption that I wasn’t. My apologies for the misunderstanding and thank you for your time.

]]> By: Proper F'd http://charismaarts.com/listening#comment-513 Proper F'd Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:46:04 +0000 http://www.charismaarts.com/?p=543#comment-513 Wayne! This post blew my mind, it changed my outlook not only on what non-listening is but also what non-listening communicates to other people. I'm grateful that you've articulated this information the way you did. Wayne! This post blew my mind, it changed my outlook not only on what non-listening is but also what non-listening communicates to other people. I’m grateful that you’ve articulated this information the way you did.

]]> By: Josua http://charismaarts.com/listening#comment-512 Josua Thu, 31 Dec 2009 07:48:16 +0000 http://www.charismaarts.com/?p=543#comment-512 This is really fundamental! May I repost this on my website? I'll put the link referred to your website. I always love CA method. This is really fundamental! May I repost this on my website?
I’ll put the link referred to your website. I always love CA method.

]]> By: Paul http://charismaarts.com/listening#comment-511 Paul Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:29:19 +0000 http://www.charismaarts.com/?p=543#comment-511 Good stuff Wayne. I call this the "leading question" mistake. There's a reason lawyers are so unpopular with regular people, because they're either making us feel stupid for not saying what we should be saying (direct examination), or criticizing us for what we do say (cross-examination). Barry-If you end on a 'down' possibility, I think it's just as constraining as ending on an 'up' one--instead of anticipating a positive outcome, you're anticipating a negative one. Either way, you're anticipating, and anticipating is bad. Baaaaaaad. Because, hey maybe she's kind of into you. Maybe she likes what she sees so far and she's open to getting to know you, and will trust you to take her to the next level. Don't disappoint her by taking away that possibility with a negative suggestion! Good stuff Wayne. I call this the “leading question” mistake. There’s a reason lawyers are so unpopular with regular people, because they’re either making us feel stupid for not saying what we should be saying (direct examination), or criticizing us for what we do say (cross-examination).

Barry-If you end on a ‘down’ possibility, I think it’s just as constraining as ending on an ‘up’ one–instead of anticipating a positive outcome, you’re anticipating a negative one. Either way, you’re anticipating, and anticipating is bad. Baaaaaaad.

Because, hey maybe she’s kind of into you. Maybe she likes what she sees so far and she’s open to getting to know you, and will trust you to take her to the next level. Don’t disappoint her by taking away that possibility with a negative suggestion!

]]> By: Pavle http://charismaarts.com/listening#comment-510 Pavle Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:04:05 +0000 http://www.charismaarts.com/?p=543#comment-510 I'm thinking, where did I put my glasses? I’m thinking, where did I put my glasses?

]]> By: Barry http://charismaarts.com/listening#comment-509 Barry Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:28:14 +0000 http://www.charismaarts.com/?p=543#comment-509 Hi Wayne, I like the theme. This is the kind of thing I notice a lot in my own conversation. (That was the nice part. Now the disagreement.) Just this week I noticed myself giving girls outs like your examples e.g. "I'd like to meet up with you again, but I don't know if you want to." or even "but I get the impression you're less than enthusiastic". Hmmm, maybe that's not what you meant, but even in trying to give them more freedom I feel like I'm somehow giving them less freedom, or trying to get more commitment - in other words trying to push things. What I'm really questioning is whether a conversation technique can overcome something that's essentially a mental desire. One thing I've been experienting a little with is just being aware. Accepting things as they are, even my own graspingness (or whatever). I find that helps a little. These are just my thoughts, all in all. Take them as you will. (See there I feel it again. It's like caring to much about giving you the freedom to take them as you will. Am I making sense or am I just crazy? Don't answer that.) Hi Wayne,
I like the theme. This is the kind of thing I notice a lot in my own conversation. (That was the nice part. Now the disagreement.) Just this week I noticed myself giving girls outs like your examples e.g. “I’d like to meet up with you again, but I don’t know if you want to.” or even “but I get the impression you’re less than enthusiastic”. Hmmm, maybe that’s not what you meant, but even in trying to give them more freedom I feel like I’m somehow giving them less freedom, or trying to get more commitment – in other words trying to push things. What I’m really questioning is whether a conversation technique can overcome something that’s essentially a mental desire. One thing I’ve been experienting a little with is just being aware. Accepting things as they are, even my own graspingness (or whatever). I find that helps a little. These are just my thoughts, all in all. Take them as you will. (See there I feel it again. It’s like caring to much about giving you the freedom to take them as you will. Am I making sense or am I just crazy? Don’t answer that.)

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