One thing we have learned is that being Zen is attractive. So we have created a Zen Test for you which we hope is educational and fun. This is a very popular item for us, and so to present it in it’s most optimal way, it is now located at zentest.charismaarts.com
Please click here to take the test: Zen Test
Haha. I picked the last one as a joke (I dont live with my mom) so it’s extra funny.
The “cleaned up” is funny, but “I thought you were coming so I…” isnt zen.
I guess one man’s Zen is another man’s trash.
Thanks for the comment.
Took me a while but finally I made the mile stone this is an awesome test more people should do it that’s why I keep spreading the word
wow, it took nearly ten tries but i made it to zen master
Good job Mike. Or should I call you by your new Zen name?
They should administer this kind of test in schools. Seriously. This is why people even need help in the first place. Society places tremendous value on textbook intelligence but virtually none on social intelligence—despite the fact that the later helps you far more than the former in all aspects of life.
I’m really glad to see this on again ! I was amazed how many times these situations came up again after doing it. Except now I feel i come across as cooler than mr miyagi!
I really liked the test, and learned a few things…
However my response to #7 (Woman mentioning problems in relationships), would have been to affirm her problems, and let her open up about her relationship issues. While validating her feelings and listening.
I didn’t like the pick out reasons why it is worse, because to me that feels like telling another person what to think. Unless, she is in a really awful situation, and needs to wake up to it, and get herself out of it.
However pick problems was the best of the available options…
##
As for the question about jobs, I have a really cool job, Research Scientist, and I like talking about it. However after taking the test, I can also see the merits of calling people on the falseness of that question….
But, when talking to a new woman, she is trying to work out who you are, and if you’re a safe person to be around, and avoiding the standard “so who are you” type questions could be seen as trying to hide something. Also in my opinion a nice place to go after “what do you do” is “what do you really want to do?” However I am interested in your thoughts about this..
I WANT more.
Thanks for checking it out.
This is a real gold mine.
I just went back to it and found new interesting stuff to try IRL.
And I still keep it “unread” on my reader.
I just tried earlier on the woman I replace at work, because she broke some fingers :
“This is not gonna be easy but we trust you can overcome this”
Everybody else was trying to diminish the work and reeducation she has to to now.
The line definitely had an effect.
This is a good way to learn, because it makes your think first. Can’t wait to have more!
This Zen concept was something I really needed to hear. I think it’s a great balm for those of us with social anxiety problems. It helped me realize how much my anxiety had been making me steer social situations down very narrow paths – perhaps the remnants of a defence mechanism from a rough childhood. This was only making other people uncomfortable with expressing their true feelings to me. I was even using all the Charisma Arts skills I had in that narrow context, and couldn’t quite figure out why it wasn’t working for me.
I went to a New Year’s party in the countryside right after doing this test for the first time and decided to keep the idea of Zen in my mind. “It doesn’t matter because I’m not in control of the situation anyway” became my mantra for the weekend. What is usually a stressful and draining situation was instead fun and much more natural. I charmed a bunch of people I’d previously been uneasy around, hardly making an effort in doing so. I also discovered that a couple of people I had previously assumed didn’t like me were really just shy and awkward themselves. It’s so strange how hard a lot of us humans have to work just to be able to read other people’s vibes clearly.
I rang in 2012 lying in the countryside under the stars in a foot of snow, balancing a glass of whisky on the rocks in my hand, making out with a girl in a snowsuit. That is a very above-average result for me so far. Good omen for the year ahead! Thanks guys.
Thanks again for making this. I couldn’t believe it but just this past weekend I met a girl who was upset about her relationship and I did what I learned on your zen test. It think it’s question 7 and she was so happy and then we took a walk and she said she wanted to kiss me. What can I say, except get busy and make some more things like this. A great learning tool.
Hey Fat Guy, blame it on Wayne for having girls kissing you. This dude know how to corrupt us into real ladies men!
Ah, its so hard to be zen when my ego keeps telling me to redo the test till I get it perfect!
I guess that’s true. We’re bestowing 100 Zen points on you for that observation Ben.
I just wanted to say this is really one of the best learning devices I’ve encountered. It must’ve taken ages to do. Thanks you so much and, yes, please to more, what would you do in this situation type things.
Thanks for letting us know it’s helpful David. Yes, we want to create more of these.
ha that was fun! i have been trying to be more zen lately but i learnt i still have a more to learn but its ok because im zen about it, also i found out by answering honestly that some things i do that i thought were wrong were actually very zen, i am guilty of a few things though! apoligising for a messy room being one of them
but im only human.
I like your point Justin. We have to be a kind to ourselves even and especially about where we are on the Zen path.
Hey Wayne,
I got really stumped on question 7! Could you write more stuff on that type of scenario? For example; you meet a woman you’re attracted to, ask her what her relationship status is and she mentions she is dating someone but not everything is going well. I have always been told to change the topic.
Then at some point we need to hit on her if we like her and want to see her again, right? what is the best way of going about that?
And I have one more request becuase you are the Zen Master and I think you have better advice on women better than anyone I have ever known! Please write an article on closing. Thank you and happy new year, I look forward to your writings in 2012!
Hitting on a girl at the point she says her relationship is going bad feels very un-zen. Its got a transparent “heh, I’m not like those OTHER guys” posturing tone to it and feels like you’re pushing for a particular outcome (bad).
Also its not a genuine expression of attraction on your part, what, are you attracted to her because she has love problems?
I’m not wayne obviously but thats my perspective.
Okay. What if you just met this girl; she is very appealing and you may never run into her again? She tells you her BF is an asshole / cheat / meanie pants. She goes on and on about why he’s a dick and can’t understand why she is with him. You are extremely attracted to her and keep flirting with her. You don’t say something along the lines that you acknowledge her situation but you can’t help being very attracted to her and would like to see her again?
Hi Wayne! I was responding to Johns comment above. I cant speak for him, but I think he was asking whether its appropriate to hit on someone in that situation? Maybe you can help.
I definitely noticed and appreciated that the test wasn’t explicitly geared around “pick up” and written in a gender neutral way.
Oh sorry Dan. I saw the comments come in and got the whole names/thread mixed up. Thanks for clarifying that.
You guys really seem to be churning out the content these days. I like it!
Thanks Patrick. Please let us know if there is any specific type of content you would like to see.
More of these would be the shizz Wayne. They really help me learn. It only took me 7 tries to get 100! yay. And that helpded with my learnding.
Thanks Ryan. We’re busy at work dreaming up more of these.
I enjoyed this. Although I struggled to not click un-Zen answers on purpose. I have the ‘lick a battery’ gene. I gotta see what happens. I licked your test, it’s tasty, like pixels.
But I feel like you’ve ‘qualified’ me 10 times in a row. Your test is making me jump through your hoops, Wayne! You’ve obliterated my ego into a sticky nothingness.
On the other hand, I DQ’d the shit out of your test. All perception is gamble, after all. I think Husserl said that. Bet he made it up, too.
As soon as I think I’m right, I’m wrong. Perhaps that’s why Zen Masters don’t speak. Silly zen masters, sitting on their mountains, meditating all day and eating hamburgers. They know the truth. I’ll beat them up with my DQ wand. Expelliarmus!
I toast your future erections,
chase.
Hi Chase. Thanks for the lively comment. You threw a bit of everything in there. I do think that Zen masters can always find a way to make your Zen lacking and for them to feel smug. So much depends on from where you look. In the end it’s probably impossible to be completely Zen. But really I’m okay with appearing Zen too. Your comment makes me think about an old idea I had to start a hamburger chain and put the restaurants on mountain peaks and out of the way places. We’d call it Far Away Burger.
Far Away Burger… I like the sound of that. I bet it would be pretty exclusive. Only the richest guys and hottest babes could afford to travel to such places. And the occasional determined hobo, to stop us feeling pretentious. It would be the coolest gig in town. Sign me up.
or the coolest gig…….. out of town?
Ha, that was awesome. Question 6 and 7 were very difficult for me. I had to take the test 3 times to get the correct answer to question 7.
Once I got the right answer for question 7 it made sense, however, question 6 is some good food for thought for me. The idea of living in social reality vs ego reality is interesting. I am curious about where the balance between being too nice/fake vs being too real/negative when I am in a bad mood lies?
Sequoia
I’m glad you liked it Sequoia. Good to hear from you as always. I think that balance is something we all need to find for ourselves. I do think it comes down to our motivations. Are we sharing to create a bond and help the other person or are we sharing out of selfishness?
This was excellent. I want to see others because I feel like taking a few more will help rewire my instincts.
Thanks for letting us know you liked it Karl. Yep, we have another in the works although it’s a bit more involved. Maybe you can help.
Damn, I was hoping I could get a perfect score by pressing the back button but this test is smarter than I thought!
Fun
Muhahahaha