Be naked

by Wayne Elise on May 5, 2012

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Drive through Los Angeles and you may spot me. I’m the guy running the streets of Los Feliz with my bare feet. People point fingers. Dogs turn mid-pee to stare. I get mocked in Spanish by the guys standing along the street in front of Home Depot. “Mira, a ese wey no le alcanzo para zapatos?”

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Good Luck

by Wayne Elise on March 6, 2012

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Be forewarned. This is a story about people talking. There’s little action. No plot. Not much character development. Also, the details are how I remember them, not how they truly happened.

I was teaching a client in the field recently who had just returned to the United States from Afghanistan.

“Not much chance to work on my conversation skills out there,” he told me. “I spent my time on a hill with my squad buddies searching for bad guys through binoculars.”

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Why the hell would you want to be romantic?

February 2, 2012
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Imagine a summer day. You lead your lover into the park. You spread a blanket on the grass and have her lie next to you while both you lie on your backs holding hands.

“This is a test,” you say. “Let’s see how aware we are. We’ll close our eyes and count the sounds we hear.”

She closes her eyes. “Okay. I have the first one. I can hear your voice.”

“Right, I’ll count on my hands. That’s one for you.”

“And I hear my own voice.”

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How to take photos for your online dating profile

January 31, 2012
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Many of the people for whom I’ve written dating profiles have asked my advice on photos. I thought I’d create a small guide for them and for you.

Feel free to forward this to your friends out there who might have no idea how to create the photos they need to make their dating profile work.

Your photos are the most important element to your success in online dating. No matter how great your text or text that you hire someone like myself to write for you, the people who check out your profile are going to look at your photos first before deciding to get to know more about you.

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The importance of building and leveraging a social reputation

January 27, 2012
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Joan Jett might not give a damn about her bad reputation (old reference, I know). But for us Charismos, our social reputation and our ability to leverage it is our life blood.

I’ve noticed a bias in most communication materials toward perfecting the first impression. This makes sense as a marketing technique to people who’re starting out. However, my experience out there in the business and dating world is that the happiest people with the most social opportunities are those who successfully create positive social reputations and build relationships.

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Make Personal Conversation – the Coffee Cup Metaphor

January 20, 2012
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It’s always easier to make topic driven-conversation. At least at first.

“Mexico city is cheap this time of year, don’t you think?”

“Oh yes. It’s cheap but yet the service is good there.”

“Yeah. It rocks there.”

“Um, yeah.”

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Find out the relationship situation or die

January 17, 2012
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In my opinion Dan is a wonderful instructor for Charisma Arts. Check out the messages his clients sent me after last weekend’s Charm School Bootcamp in New York City.

But it hasn’t always been a smooth path for Dan. Here’s a story about what happened a few years ago when Dan and I were out together and encountered trouble. I hope you enjoy it.

A girl smiled at Dan. Let’s call her Belle.

Dan walked over. “What’s a girl like you doing sitting on a stool in a place like this?”

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Read about what makes sexy people sexy.

January 12, 2012
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As a kid I used to lie in bed at night and fantasize about growing facial hair. I thought that if I wore a mustache, people would have to do what I said.

Spend time with children and you’ll learn a simple truth – they’re obsessed with power. It makes sense. They’re the least powerful people in the world. They’re told when to sleep, what to eat, what to wear, what to think. They dream of being bosses or police officers or international super criminals.

After becoming adults we realize few power trips are worth the trouble. Being the boss at work means you have responsibilities, sporting muscles means you spend your days at the gym, even politicians have to appease voters.

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From Small Talk to Big Talk

December 19, 2011
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During the season between Thanksgiving and Christmas I find myself spending most of my social time at holiday gatherings. These include office parties, networking functions as well as themed social events. What I like about this time of year and the holidays is that there is always something natural to talk about. Wayne recently stressed the importance of talking about things your conversational partner can relate to in his article about The Secret To Hooking People Into Your Conversations. At Charisma Arts we also stress taking conversations off the beaten path beyond the reams of small talk in order to access intimacy, creativity and genuineness in our interactions.

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The Cheesecake Test

December 10, 2011
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For those of you scoring at home, The Cheesecake Test may, for you, supersede the old Charisma Arts Vacuum Theory.

The challenge for us in conversation with a stranger we want to connect with is one of getting the other person involved and invested in the conversation with us. However, this doesn’t happen when the other person feels forced to interact with us.

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